A love triangle is without a doubt the most troubling of all relationship dynamics. In this article I will address the issue from the standpoint of the third wheel or “the other person”. The third wheel in a love triangle is the person who is not in the primary relationship, but is involved with someone who is in a committed relationship with another individual.
As the third wheel in this love triangle you have full knowledge that the other person is involved with someone else, but you chose to be involved with them as well. Although I do not condone the practice of being with someone who is in a committed relationship, I do understand that the attraction, feelings, and emotions can be extremely powerful.
Most people who end up in this situation never intended to one day wake up and find themselves right in the middle of a love triangle. For most the process is gradual. It can usually begin with some innocent flirting, that eventually leads to crossing the line. Once that line has been crossed it becomes easier and easier to cross it again. Over time it’s natural for intense feelings of attachment and/or love to develop.
Once things reach a level of emotional attachment and/or love the love triangle becomes an emotionally charged and intense pattern that is hard to break. It is not uncommon for this situation to be prolonged by deception and or mixed messages from the primary party you that are involved with. This is a dangerous place to be and one in which you need to strongly evaluate the choices you are making and where this road is heading.
Things to consider if you are the third wheel in a love triangle:
1. Consider the feelings of the other person: Empathy or seeing the world through the eyes of another person is one of the most compassionate emotions we as humans can experience. If you find yourself in a love triangle, you should pay special consideration to the other person. It is not uncommon for the person you are involved with to share bad experiences and/or wrong doings of the unsuspecting party.
You should be cautious of a one sided story, but instead place yourself in their situation and think how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
2. Look towards the future: If you are involved in a love triangle you are most likely there by accident and the intention may be for the two of you to one day be together. But consider this. If the person you are currently seeing is cheating on their significant other, what are the odds that one day they will be cheating on you? You may think that this is impossible or that it would never happen, because right now you are special to them and you are their escape from their other world.
But what happens when the newness of you wears off and the reality of you guys being together sets in. Do you think that it is possible that they may start again looking somewhere else? You know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater and the odds of them doing the same thing to you are pretty good.
3. Show yourself some self respect: If you find yourself involved in a love triangle, whether it was intentional or not, you should instantly recognize that you deserve better. I understand that this person has your attention and that you are attracted to them, but you deserve much better than a borrowed lover. You deserve a lover who is loyal, committed, trustworthy, and of strong character. Don’t sell yourself short, you are an amazing unique individual and you deserve better. So it would be wise to dump the cheater and find someone who is completely deserving of your love and attention.
It’s important to understand that I am not discounting the feelings and emotions that you share for this person. The emotions of a love triangle are by far some of the most powerful emotions of love and lust. But at the end of the day you have full control over your actions and your behaviors. You can continue to make choices that are most likely leading to an unfortunate destination or you can step away from this love triangle and start a new life with someone more deserving of your love and affection.